Sex is always a tricky subject, especially in literature.
[Mitzi] Szereto thinks the best kind of sex writing needs to explore the "psychology of desire". In an age in which sex has been divested of most of its mystery (hard-core pornography is a website away and Mills & Boon has invested in a "raunchy" series), it may be that the "psychology of desire" is the only unknown territory to explore.
Howard Jacobson, who last month won the Man Booker prize for The Finkler Question, believes it is the discussion of sex that is the intriguing part, not its depiction. "The only point in writing a 'he puts that in there and she puts this in here' scene is to arouse, and I'm not interested in doing that. Some critics who should have known better complained that my last novel, The Act of Love, didn't arouse them. It wasn't meant to. It was a book 'about' compulsive jealousy. It wasn't intended to make them jealous or otherwise titillate them.
"To a novelist--to me, anyway--the 'about' is more interesting than the thing. Explicitness almost invariably takes you to bathos. The great sex scenes in literature for me don't show sex at all--Dorothea in Middlemarch, for example, registering the sexual horror of her marriage through her revulsion from Roman art ... It isn't morality that determines this preference in me, but aesthetics."
Jacobson makes a good point: great sex scenes are never graphic. Take a look at John Milton's Paradise Lost--book four features the most erotic love scene in all of literature.